Fight

Rough day

I know it’s pretty normal to have sort of disagreements with a love one but mine is a little complicated. You see, my mom, who I usually have heavy arguments with, pressed me a bit this time. I hate fighting with her. I get to be the disrespectful person whom I feared to become. I get to rebut at her all the time. It’s like I keep forgetting that she’s my mother. All I could think of is she’s a little controller. She’s not like this all the time, though, I should say. She can be the greatest mother out there but everyone has their bad side, right? I’m not the angel either.
Here’s the thing. My mom always wanted someone to take over the family business when the time comes (presumably in 5 years) and my sister is a doctor, my brother is an accountant so she has no one left but me. You see, we own drugstores, but that’s not the reason why I took up pharmacy. I took up pharmacy because before high school ended, I thought about becoming a great doctor someday just like my sister. But years passed, college ended, we agreed I wouldn’t go to med school. One line she told me that I could never forget though. She said if I’m going to med school, I should make sure I have the mental capacity. Ouch. I didn’t get affected by it though. She may not have believed in me, but others never failed to encourage me ( Well, I never went to med school, I never will, well. Just because.
Currently, I am helping in our family business just like how they have always wanted. But not until recently, I decided I want to go to law school. It was an easy decision to make because once upon a time in my younger years, before I wanted to become like my sister, I have dreamed of becoming a lawyer also. When I opened it up to my family, never in my whole life have they been so supportive about my dream. That’s why it upsets me why my mother, who was excited about me going to law school, told me now (translated), “Some lawyers don’t have a big income… If you continue becoming a lawyer, you will be leaving your pharmacy profession.” WTF. Is it not a blink ago you said I would be a lawyer? You even told me you know someone who’s pharmacist-lawyer??? That’s when I realized it’s the same scene again. Familiar. I knew then she just wanted me to stay and take over business. I never made the same mistake like I did though in my doctor dream. I know we are all entitled to listen to our mothers but I can hardly do it this time. So there. I really really wanted to become an attorney. I have been through worst when I don’t know what to dream about anymore. And now, literally I have a dream, I won’t let anyone take it away from me just so they could get hold off something they have started with that they wanted me to finish.. I won’t let anyone tell me that I’m not good enough for this. That I’m better off in the comfort zone. No. This is my dream. I’m gonna fight for it. Whatever it takes.